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21 days later.

Friday, August 17, 2007

rights and wrongs and still blaming them on the country.
or am i just denying the liberty i have abused, over and over.
a series of incidence forced the wits out of my skull.
overspilled and i have been struggling to contain.
this is a loneliest process and i'm not afraid to admit,
i am indeed scared of being left alone.

sitting in a pile of shit, and watching the ones around me,
tripping over and into their own mess of shits has balled me over.
how nasty can things get. and how far/long more are we sinking in.
its amazing, but i have learned the easy way out.
i left the questions and overly concerns out. placed a hand near, whoever.
hold on if u need, i will stay close, no questions asked. i'll be quiet.
and we may simply trust, in that.

guess we all just need a good amount of silence and peace, for now.



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this feeling, of parading myself in clubs/bars knowing there are people
making assumptions, remarks and misconceptions about me, my life,
the people i was seeing, the things i did or did not do etc.
and being able to hold my head up and making that choice,
to be oblivious to all that nonsense, is very fucking nice :)

the sure-works theory is:
if these people are strangers, then they do not know me, so forgive in generosity.
if these people are friends, then the more i shouldnt bother,
for they should know better than that. so i have less people to care for now.


21 days later, i fell into a routine of uncertainties.
nothing much changed, except i gained more pee-time,
feel a little more bored at times, think alot more at other times.
spent abit more time with my sis, without alcohol and in broad daylight.
got to hang out more with za, at home, at the supermarket, at clubs.
got a little tan, got a new com, got a little bankrupted, and found a stranger.

after the traumas of events, being swung up high into cloud 9,
and instantly thrown back to earth without a transit,
immediately down to hell. now we are slowly but steadily,
swimming back to the surface.
i am generally happy. i am thrilled that sis dumped candies for a chocolate.
it's all good, now.

posted by peenutkew  # 05:43  0 comments

black august

Thursday, August 09, 2007

i would gladly stay permanently annulled just so that my sis could smile again.
there were so many thoughts i couldnt put into words,
and the weight on my shoulder gets heavier by the second.
i am supposed to be naughty, chirpy and strong. stronger than anyone.
but what good does it do when my strength could not lift another?
i want to be the pillar that stays when everything else fails,
and the only one who remains dancing when the lights go up.
i can smell the stench that was left behind our mess,
i'm just biting my teeth, just so you could be falling that hard,
and there will be no room for fear, as you could crash onto me.
that is a promise.

posted by peenutkew  # 18:30  0 comments

wana holiday?

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

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teach me how. i am still working as hard as before.
anyway i have got too much to say but just lazy to type.

posted by peenutkew  # 18:25  0 comments