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finding a way out

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

it isn't so hard to smile again.

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lately, i feel short.
physically short. a little short of breath.
kinda short of money. a bit short of time.

posted by peenutkew # 17:22 0 comments

september, i am awake.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

that was phuket. it felt like i was away for 369 days.
toast. tomatoes. cucumbers. coffee. eggs. pool. beer. sun. oil.
water. cigarettes. michael jackson. ipod. chips. steamed peanuts.
massage. tom yum. bikes. beach. papaya. vodka. sprite. orange.
chinese mtvs. floating beds. heavy dead corpse. low season. goon.
pharmacy. dim sum indian names zi char and where's the lighter?

if only i could just go on north, i would without a blink.

crazy thoughts, and how helpless the human minds can get.
messages unsent, feelings untold, truths unheard. for a moment, i missed you.
acting the extreme opposite is an art. i think i have mastered that.
i dont wear my heart on my sleeves, i dont even have 1 to begin with.
i pinched my nerves and found another way out that no one knows.
for that few seconds i tripped backwards into humanity,
only to be spun into another dimension of invincibility. saved, i am.

i dont know me anymore and that idea doesnt scare me anymore.
the mayhem i was sucked into, double up with the black august finale.
september better be worth the torment we have braved.