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how a friend feels about my absence

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Jxx Yx Hx says: (8:59:55 AM)
feels funny

Jxx Yx Hx says: (9:00:01 AM)
like something gone

Jxx Yx Hx says: (9:00:06 AM)
LIKE PET DOG TT RAN AWAY

Sobreviviente says: (9:04:27 AM)
hahaha thanks!

Sobreviviente says: (9:04:34 AM)
i feel better now.


(i really do feel better. i happened to have a lot of friends
who love animals more than human beings.)



for casey seyu,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
happy 34th birthday sis!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i remember how you were in australia on your birthday last year too.
i remember how we were in japan on your birthday the year before.
i miss you.

posted by peenutkew  # 09:08  1 comments

unusually sunny day

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Photobucket

posted by peenutkew  # 10:41  0 comments

this is she

Friday, March 20, 2009

her cheeks you measured to be cloud high,
whose hair without wax but with that smell you remember and miss,
her frame labeled extra small by you in your disillusion,
and how she differs from her stage persona still puzzles you today.

too many questions she has no concrete answers to,
layers of myths and tales she is no longer bothered by.

she plays numerous games, with no rules, no bounds, no umpires, no principles.
she lures like a fox, preys like a tiger and hunts like a wolf.
she makes you to break you and then she deserts you.
she intrudes into your life, casts a spell on you and vanishes into vacuum.
she has done it to your friends, their friends and likely even their mothers and grands.
she will do it to you. too.
she still has friends, oh they probably are her slaves.
or she must be goddess then.

but you didnt judge her.
because you have seen the person she really is,
behind the masquerade,
beneath the fabrics,
and beyond the airs.

posted by peenutkew  # 07:45  0 comments

fuel and lighter

Thursday, March 19, 2009

we always set dates and times, and allow ourselves to await a result we desire.
in the bittersweet process of waiting or longing,
and possibly engaging in incidents or falling for distractions.
switching in between missing and looking forward,
loving and loathing the absence and imagined presence.

making it worth the while, we all have tried that shit before.
but we never truly get to the point of giving up, on hope.
however many times hope has failed us,
or however many times we claim to give hope up.
hoping it might just be this once, this one, this time.
more than just someone has said to me before,
"you are too hopeful for your own good."
"stop hoping and you will be less disappointed."
"when you hope, you expect, so you shouldnt."
they always just disintegrate before coming out from the other ear.

the fuel to warm the waiting nights burns and will run dry,
maybe even before the awaited day comes.
and we fear to feel the high and the dry. but who doesnt.
we often forget that it only will get lighter,
and close to nothing, we have none else to lose.

posted by peenutkew  # 09:53  0 comments

and you have been told

Monday, March 09, 2009

to let go of the hand that runs away from yours.
that you will eventually break your toe by sticking it in the door that shuts.
that if you keep failing at something, it simply means you have failed.
that you will never be able to find your way out of the mess,
if you keep your head submerged in it.

and you have been told,
to let go of the hand that is holding on to many other hands.
that if you insist on putting up that fight,
you will probably only manage to get hold of a broken finger, or nail chips.
that if you keep having to be placed on hold,
it simply means move on, not hold on.
that the hand meant for yours will be in yours and not all over the place.

posted by peenutkew  # 07:05  0 comments